Confessions of a fast food junkie by underground

Ideologically I should be a vegetarian, but I just can’t do it. It’s not even that I love meat too much to stop eating it. I don’t like vegetables enough. And it would be too inconvenient. I like to grab a cheap burger when I can’t be bothered waiting or making something myself. It’s not even that I like the burgers that much, it’s just that I get cravings. As you can see I’m not a big eater. I like lollies quite a bit. And nuts. Chips are good too. But I need to get a good filling feed every now and then, so that I don’t lose more weight and faint or die. So I walk down Queen Street and pick myself some fast food. Will it be a Whopper today or a Big Mac?

I confess I feel guilty. Nothing feels more hypocritical then walking back up to uni with Anti-Flag playing in my earphones wearing my Strike Anywhere hoodie whilst clutching a bag of McDonald’s? But I can’t help it. And it is it really that bad?

McDonald’s burger boxes and TV adverts boast the changes the company has made. New salads, fresh ingredients sourced from around New Zealand, and gone are the burger warmers as they are made to order. And perhaps these changes are real and meaningful. About 10 years ago, as a young idealist, I stopped eating their food altogether. A month ago, whilst drunk and starving, I picked up a Big Mac and a wrap. Sorry Burger King, but you are losing the burger battles, I was impressed. I had sold out, but I was satisfied.

Now I regularly pick up something from their menu. Burger King has really slipped and most things they serve are frankly crap. I have to be pretty drunk to eat there now. Personally, I think Wendy’s has long since fallen by the wayside. And all there is left is Maccas.

I am however already getting sick of McD’s. You need some variety in your diet. So in comes Burger Fuel. Of course if it were possible I would eat there every day. But even at only a few more dollars than the multinational chains it is still too dear to eat each day.

I’ve got to get myself off this cycle of self destruction. It is not my arteries or colesterol that I am worried about. It is my lofty ideals and smug self importance that is at stake. I’ve got to kick the habit so I can return to lambasting multi-nationals and looking down on obese people who have too many burgers. I’m losing my claim to elitism.

If my girlfriend has her way I’ll be eating beans, nuts and lentils. Then I’ll be better than all of you!


4 Comments so far
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I had a Wendy’s “Ultimate Baconator” (or whatever) the other day. It filled my tummy….and that was another mission accomplished.

Comment by Truthseeker

I’m more of a fan of BK – their premium burgers are pretty nice. McD’s burgers are a bit too dry for my tastes.

Multinational burger joints have also served me very well while travelling – clean toilets and ‘you know what you’re getting’ food is sometimes all I want.

Comment by Richard

Paul, you’re going to hell.

Comment by Nev

So opinion is split on the best burger joint. Hmmm. Either way, Alice is right, I’m going to hell. Better repent and have a salad!

Comment by underground

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