Who are these people and why should I care? by underground

Are you new to Auckland’s social scene? Here’s a quick guide to who’s who on Planet Socialite.

Rachel Glucina will tell you where it’s at in “Spy”, the gossip pullout magazine in the Herald on Sunday. The Herald website describe her on their website as a “gossip queen”, who “reports on the latest parties, fashions and celebrity events around town”. I’ve only flicked through the magazine once, and although I did not expect to, I did not recognise anyone. Who are these people? Are they celebrities? What do they do? Are they just rich? Did they earn that money, or are they just the spoilt brat of an investment banker, or something? Are they even nice people, or just egotistic “socialites”? What is a socialite anyway? Someone who goes out and socialises? I sometimes socialise! You probably socialise! Are we socialites? And if not, why not? And why should we care about those people that are bloody socialites? Because they dress nice? Because they drive nice cars? Because they know people who actually are famous? Please Rachel, why should I care? In fact, why should anyone care? And people actually do care! Why do they care? I must be missing out on something here, such as how wonderful a trivial existence must be.

I’ve rallied against celebrity before, but these people aren’t even real celebrities! They are just friends with celebrities. Can you be a celebrity by association? Who is more pathetic? The person who is celebrity because they once sung a two minute 30 one hit wonder, the person who is celebrity by association, or the person who follows the movements of a meaningless celebrity (or socialite!) they have never even met?

The Herald took a risk adopting a tabloid format for their Herald on Sunday, but has insisted the size will not determine the quality of the paper. As long as Spy is inserted, I beg to differ.


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